time to smoke my breakfast
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
