It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
be right there i have to get my cape
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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