The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She bit a glass in half.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
