Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
