thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize