ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
