Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
