all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
