Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
