Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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