the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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