The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
