My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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