So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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