I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize