...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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