chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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