i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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