Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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