I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
