Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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