I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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