oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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