You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
