i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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