The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
