Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
