She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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