I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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