So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
