I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
