too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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