CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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