Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
