I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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