please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
