Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
