Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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