I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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