I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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