you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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