She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize