I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
