If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
