ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
