I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
