you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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