Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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