everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
