super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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