i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
