in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
