your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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