i think my mom watched the whole time
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
