Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There's always time for handjobs
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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