proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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