Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
