Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
