Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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