I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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