***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
