What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Even the bartender felt bad for me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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