I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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