break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
