I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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